


Wedding Blues

by deductress



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Gay Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, The Captain needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27352156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deductress/pseuds/deductress
Summary: Since the ceremony, the Captain had spent the evening lost in daydreams of being alive in the present age. He had even dared to dream about his own wedding, with William.
Relationships: The Captain/Lieutenant Havers (Ghosts TV 2019)
Comments: 46
Kudos: 147





	Wedding Blues

Being a part of Claire and Sam’s wedding had been a wonderful experience, the Captain had found himself rather remarkably drawn in to the whole event. It had then led to him wondering had he lived in this day and age, and not been in the military (he would always serve for his country, no matter what century it was), if he would have chosen to be a wedding planner? It seemed like an excellent career – total control of all organisational planning, input on interior design, venue hiring, catering layout and ensuring the happy couple had all their needs and preferences catered for on their special day.

It was kind of the perfect job for the Captain, when he thought about it.

If he weren’t in the military that was.

Since the ceremony, the Captain had spent the evening lost in daydreams of being alive in the present age – no fear of invasion, of bombs obliterating your loved ones, of constant vigilance… He had even dared to dream about his own wedding, with William. He could picture it happening in a place just like Button House; the décor would be lively, but also tastefully subtle – balanced, just like how they had balanced the other. His friends would be there - the other ghosts (it was a daydream after all, no need to worry about the fact they all came from different eras) and William’s family would be present. His sister, Catherine, had seemed lovely and very sweet from the letters the Lieutenant had shared with him. The Captain’s family… Well, the less said about them the better. His father had been a true military man; resolute in the belief a child needed a firm hand to learn obedience. And it had worked.

Physically shaking his head to dissipate any unwelcome childhood memories, the Captain allowed himself to fall into his daydream wedding once more. William would be so handsome; in full uniform and decorated. (The Captain couldn’t be too sure how long William had lived, if he’d survived the war, earned himself a medley of medals for his courage and service. But he liked to believe the man had done so, that he had even gone on to achieve a medal in gallantry – showing the world his heart of gold and his determination to serve his country and protect his men. Something the Captain had always seen and deeply admired.) He would be smiling kindly, in that way he always did whenever they were together – the Captain liked to imagine that particular smile was all his; private, special and for his eyes only. He dearly missed that smile. It had always made him feel safe, secure, made him feel everything would be absolutely fine as long as William was there. When William left, that sensation of protection had left with him.

Their wedding would be beautiful, it would be so full of love and happiness. Everyone would be smiling and laughing. He and William would be finally complete, bonded together for all eternity; their love ever-lasting. And it would be legal – no fear of being spat upon, no fear of societal rejection and isolation, of being beaten to death or worse; sentenced to chemical castration.

The Captain had never forgiven himself for his cowardice after his Lieutenant had revealed his new duty which would remove him from the base, if he’d just admitted the truth… Just told the Lieutenant he didn’t want him to leave, that he wanted him to stay. With him. So they could be together.

Instead, he had watched William walk out in the night, serving his country faithfully. Meanwhile the Captain’s heart had wilted, crushed and despondent as he realised he would likely never see the man he loved ever again. They would never have their happy ending.

Feeling the same gripping misery as that night, the Captain berated himself – _there’s no use daydreaming, you’ll never get that perfect wedding, you’ll never get to walk down the aisle with William, you’ll remain alone. Forever._

“Captain?”

Violently jolting from his thoughts, the Captain’s head whirled around to meet the concerned gaze of his fellow Scoutmaster ghost. Blinking, he took quite stock of his surroundings – unnerved to see all the ghosts, along with Alison, gathered around him where he sat on the window ledge. Each ghost held their own variation of concern or alarm upon their expression, although Alison’s seemed more alert than the others. As if she’d come to a realisation and was unsure how to broach the subject.

“What-what’s the matter with you all?” the Captain was embarrassed to hear his voice crack a little at the start, correcting it efficiently with a throat clearing in an attempt to maintain his air of control. _Can’t show a weak front, can we?_

“Captain… Are you okay?” Pat queried, taking a second step closer to the soldier, his anxious expression deepening as his voice softened in that way it did when he was talking down someone from an upset – as if he were comforting one of his young Scouts.

“Perfectly fine of course,” the Captain barked in response, hands gripping his crop firmly to steady his resolve against the unwarranted and unexpected concern emanating from the others.

Pat’s expression looked pained for a moment before he admitted, “Captain… You’re crying.”

The simple statement sent a shockwave jerking through the Captain’s body as he swiftly reached a hand up to his cheek, appalled to confirm Pat’s statement as his fingertips came away wet. Frustrated with himself, and in a rare moment of impropriety; he haphazardly used his uniform sleeves to roughly rub away any evidence of tears. Ashamed to note as soon as he had done so, fresh tears poured forth – quickly running a path down his reddened cheeks.

He was even more sickened with himself when he realised he was withholding – with significantly growing difficulty – a sob. Leaping to his feet, (and deftly ignoring his obnoxiously clicking joints), the Captain made to leave the room – less than eager to reveal any weakness to his housemates. He still vividly remembered the conversation from months back, whereby the others had ridiculed every aspect of his personality and being. It was with no surprise he was reluctant to express any open emotion near them, for risk of them mocking him or using it as a weapon when he inevitably irritated them in some manner.

A delicate hand gripping his arm pulled him to a stop in his escape. Turning to confront and berate the culprit, _how dare they handle a soldier_ , he was stopped dead in his tracks by Kitty’s expressive face.

“Katherine, what are you-?”

“Captain, whatever is the matter? I don’t like to see you cry, you were so happy at the wedding today, please tell us what’s wrong?”

As always, Kitty’s childlike innocence shone brightly, her naivety both sweet and frustrating. The Captain had always found it difficult to raise his voice in her presence, she seemed too soft-hearted to handle shouting well.

“Katherine, it’s not important, I-” unexpectedly choking on a sobbing hiccup, mortification drowned the Captain as he spun around in an attempt to hide his uncontrollable tears – his arm still held in the gentle grasp of Kitty.

The vicious grip around his heart twisted agonisingly as an image of William fluttered through his mind’s eye – unconsciously imagining the Lieutenant at Kitty’s mention of the day’s wedding. It seemed despite death, God seemed quite intent on causing them suffering for all eternity. Now that the Captain knew his punishment wasn’t due to his sexual preferences, he had to wonder what he’d done in life to deserve a torturously lonely existence in purgatory.

In spite of the Captain doing his most to hide his sorrow, the sound of his shuddering sob cut through the silence like a knife and caused the remaining ghosts to look between each other beseechingly, each at a complete lost on how to address the situation at hand. Not one of them had ever believed they would ever see the day where their Captain would be reduced to tears for no identifiable reason.

Stepping forward, silently volunteering herself as the envoy, Alison stood behind the Captain’s turned body alongside Kitty – respecting his want to hide his tears, “Is this to do with Claire and Sam’s wedding?”

The Captain’s shoulders drooped as his head fell to hang low, it had seemed the fight had drained straight out of him in that moment. In the following silence, the sound of the Captain’s stifled sniffles were unmissable, an answer in itself.

Aware she would need to choose her next words very carefully, for fear of the Captain high-tailing it the moment she stepped on the wrong eggshell, Alison thought back to when a more literal landmine had exploded before them all, “Your… Lieutenant, he was a bit more than just a Lieutenant – wasn’t he?”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” the Captain weakly denied, voice tired and head still hung low; still avoiding the judgemental faces of his comrades. Despite the Captain’s desperate attempt to rally himself back together, the tears continued their race down his pale cheeks – it seemed now the dam had been broken, it would require extensive work to build it up again.

Following Alison’s train of thought, Pat’s eyebrows shot up his forehead when he came upon the same conclusion, prompting him to concernedly address his friend, “You were really amazing at the wedding today, huh Cap? You were so good at the planning, the organisation… Did-did you ever get to plan your own wedding?” he queried cautiously, also deeply aware of the expanse of no-man’s-land between the Captain and all the others.

Hastily muting another building sob, the Captain furiously cleared his throat, “Of course not! There was a war on! One had no time for, for weddings and-and romance and-” letting his voice trail off, the Captain grimaced as the pull on his heart worsened, William’s image remaining with him as his eyes lifted to stare at the windowsill where the man had once stood with him many decades ago.

“And that doesn’t make it right,” Alison interjected, “You still deserved to marry the man you loved.”

The use of the specific gender noun caused the Captain to spin on his heels to face the group, alarming them with his tear-soaked face and broken hearted expression as he pointed his crop threateningly at Alison, “Now you see her missy! I won’t take these accusations lightly-!”

“Captain, please, Alison’s quite right,” Fanny stepped forward, hand raised in a calming gesture as she watched with displeasure at the look of growing trepidation on the Captain’s face, like an animal backed against a wall the Captain’s eyes cut sharply between them all, evaluating them as if to scope out who would hurt him the most. She supposed her earlier statements of disgust at the ladies’ wedding probably hadn’t helped the Captain’s current wary position, he likely presumed Fanny felt the same for him after what he’d heard, “I was quite wrong, I can admit that now. Claire and Sam had a lovely wedding, and it was nice to see two people who truly loved each other be married, irrespective of if they are a man, woman, two women or two men.”

“I-I don’t-” the Captain’s eyes had widened dramatically at Fanny’s declaration, his façade was starting to crumble and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could maintain his denials. Seeing William’s kind smile as he stood to the side didn’t help the matter any, god he missed the man. He would have been able to help here. He would have stepped forward, taken charge and got the lot to settle down and move on, the Captain was sure of it.

“What was his name?” Kitty sympathetically queried in a startling show of sudden intellect and perception; maybe she wasn’t quite as clueless as she led them all to believe.

Unable to continue his rebuffs any more against the collective face of understanding from his fellow ghosts, the Captain felt his resolve tear in two as he turned to stare at the image of his beloved, “William,” he admitted softly.

Alison and Pat glanced at each other, nodding in shared acknowledgement as each remembered the bomb incident the Captain had entitled, ‘Operation William’.

“You want marry him?” Robin asked in his typical blunt but not unkind manner, “You want spend life with him?”

Closing his eyes against the tide of tears building up once more, the Captain cleared his throat, his voice shaking and filled with sorrow, “Yes well, no point wishing for something you’ll never get.”

“I’m sure it would have been a beautiful wedding,” Kitty gushed excitedly, “You and your William, both handsomely dressed. Would you have garland lights strung from the ceiling, like today? It was so pretty. And, could I be a bridesmaid? Groomsmaid? I think I’d like to wear yellow, a pretty yellow gown. Would you wear your uniform or a suit?”

“I-I don’t-” choking on a stutter, the Captain felt himself at a loss from Kitty’s excitable babble, unwilling to admit he had been imagining the very same wedding a short while ago. He had, in fact, imagined both himself and William in their uniforms, as was right.

“He’d wear his uniform of course!” Fanny pronounced, “Lieutenant William too. A soldier should always display his uniform with honour.”

“Would theres be lively musics? Like today? Nones of your soldier music,” Mary’s lip curled down as she thought back to the Captain’s rendition of ‘ _It's a Long Way to Tipperary_ ’.

“Uhm, William, he-he rather liked the music of Glenn Miller?” the Captain offered, rather shaken by the abrupt turn of conversation and feeling unmoored by the others’ easy acceptance of his imaginary wedding to his very male Lieutenant.

“Oh yeah, like ‘ _In The Mood_ ’?” Alison chirruped, pulling out her phone and tapping the song into Youtube, playing aloud so the more aged ghosts might hear the music.

“Oh yes, this be fun!” Mary cheered agreeably after listening a moment to the opening notes.

As the song played, the others humming along approvingly, the Captain quietly admitted to himself it would have been a perfect first dance song. The Captain had never been a dancer, but William certainly had been – had even offered to teach the Captain so he may be able to attend the weekly dances all his soldiers attended. The Captain had thanked his Lieutenant but ultimately refused; not keen on attending some crowded hall, holding fake smiles as he feigned interest in a pretty lady as they took to the dancefloor.

The Lieutenant had taken the refusal in his stride, and had stated he would not attend the dance that weekend and would instead stay on base with the Captain. When the Captain had urgently opened his mouth to argue that William should go out and enjoy his free time - William had held one hand up, a kind smile on his face and had stated, “I think I’d much rather spend my free time with you sir, if that’s quite alright?”

They’d ended up spending the evening listening to William’s Glenn Miller records, drinking whiskey and talking the night away. It had become one of the Captain’s fondest memories – it had always felt like coming home, when he had spent time alone with William. Like he’d found his missing puzzle piece and everything was finally sitting just right in his world.

Such thoughts weren’t helping his growing melancholy in any form, as he frantically wiped away the fresh tears sliding free. Who knew all it would take was one wedding and the Captain would be sobbing like a little girl? Quite pathetic.

Regretfully acknowledging that the nostalgic music likely wasn’t aiding in cheering up the Captain, Alison promptly stopped the song, slid her phone back in her pocket and attempted a new tactic, “Do you have a photo of William anywhere?”

“I _did_ ,” the Captain stated, his tone the tiniest bit scathing and bitter, “The photo of our unit on Mike’s ghost wall. You covered William over with the blue sticky note.”

“Oh, my god. I am SO sorry,” Alison hastily apologised, horrified at her actions and immediately feeling awful that the Captain hadn’t been able to see his partner’s face for the past month, “I will sort that right now.”

Alison then promptly rushed down the stairs to the kitchen, quickly returning with the ghost board in her hands – laying it down on the nearest surface she carefully peeled away the post-it covering the Lieutenant’s face from view. The Captain and the remaining ghosts had already surrounded the board to watch the big reveal.

“Is that him?” Alison asked, finger pointed at the image of Lieutenant William Havers.

“Yes, quite.”

“Oooh, he was handsome, wasn’t he?” Kitty squealed, hands clasped as she admired the soldier in the dated photograph.

“Yes, he was rather,” the Captain admitted on a sigh, gazing forlornly at the image of the man he loved, “I miss him dearly,” he found himself confessing aloud without thought.

Upon realising his mistake, the Captain tensed his shoulders – prepared for the onslaught of mockery that would come from his admission, but when no taunting words came forth, he turned to regard the others.

Each of the ghosts held a small smile for him, none judging, simply sympathetic and understanding. Perhaps they were all commiserating over the loss of their own loved ones through time, the Captain supposed. Maybe his lost love wasn’t quite so unique and scandalous as he first thought, when he considered how Thomas lost his Isabelle or how Pat remained lovingly loyal to his dying day for his cheating wife.

“I’m sorry you never got to marry William,” Alison uttered, her voice expressing how genuinely remorseful she was for his loss, “Kitty was right though, I’m sure it would have been a beautiful wedding.”

A chorus of agreements echoed Alison’s sentiments as the ghosts immediately began to talk over each other with their detailed descriptions of the layout and procession of the Captain and William’s imaginary wedding.

“But who would give the Captain away?” Fanny interjected.

“I would of course, he’s my mate and I wouldn’t let any old plebeian walk him down the aisle,” Julian argued, “Plus a chance for a little cop of the brides-groomsmaids wouldn’t go amiss.”

“And I would recite an epic poem of their romance for all to admire!” Thomas crowed, hand raised to the sky dramatically.

“Not if we have choice,” Robin muttered.

Feeling his eyes well up once more, this time from a sense of budding joy, the Captain smiled through his tears as he considered those around him and realised for the first time - while he might not have the husband he’d always dreamt of, he at least finally had a family ready to rally around him, who were happy to accept him as he was and were even prepared to listen to his daily mission debriefs. He could live with that, or die, he supposed.

**Author's Note:**

> So for the first time ever, I've written a second fic for a fandom, within a week! Something about this pairing has inspired me to write several fics about their romance. I've even written a rather steamy one, if people would be interested? A bit less romantic and soppy than 'Take the Leap' is and a bit more... PWP frankly.
> 
> Anyway, here's my second offering. Not sure if it's much good, but had to write something angsty and canon-fitting for my Captain. He deserves so much better, and all I could think while watching s02e06 was the Captain looked so happy helping to plan and setup the wedding, and I bet he'd have been so excited to plan his own if he'd ever had the opportunity. Poor sweetheart.
> 
> Again, feedback appreciated, but please be gentle. (And thank you for all the kind words on 'Take the Leap' - definitely was not expected in any shape or form!) Finally, I'm quite keen to meet others in the Captain/Havers and Ghosts fandom - where's the place to be these days? It used to be LJ (I'm showing my age) and Tumblr back in the day, but think I'm a little behind the times now (not unlike the Captain). Any suggestions?


End file.
